I know this doesn’t seem formal cause it isn’t. Feel like talking to you but I can’t so I’m writing down to u instead. I’m sorry dat I teased u, and I’m very sorry dat I hurt your feelings…and I will put ur feelings in consideration the next time I ever think of teasing u, or just not tease "ever" again!!! Once again I do apologize for what has happened, and I will refrain from doing any actions dat will cause ur feelings do be hurt…..Haixx…my past has destroyed me. As u know, I was in a relationship with a guy for 4 years plus. I really adored him but we fought a lot. I was always afraid he would leave me for someone as he had a lot of friends . He call me crazy and paranoid so I gave him space to prove I trusted him, but then…he betrayed me. I feel like those years were a waste of my time & the memories are tainted.. I can’t even look at the pictures. I’ve been consumed with anger, hurt & anxiety dat everywhere I go dat I will bump into them.
I have been in 2 刻苦铭心relationships which all ended the exact same way. The last break-up really left me broken-hearted. I put a lot into dat relationship to only get hurt & disappointed once again..It has been months and the hurt is still apparent. I feel like I will never be able to love again or trust frown emoticon I may have hurt some people dat came across my life but I never ever mean to do it intentionally, I really just have a lack of trust.. I am not one to point the finger of blame so I will take some responsibility for the break up. But still the hurt is unbearable at certain instances. I keep questioning myself why can’t I find a good person, someone willing & able to settle down, someone who knows how to treat a woman & knows dat a relationship is not just all good and sex.. there is sacrifice & faithfulness, honesty & trust among other inevitability. Sigh*
Anyways, better go into the body of letter. I can feel someone starting to yawn by the time u read up to here. I wanna say I’m very touched with the words/sentences dat u wrote to me. Everyday I get to know a lil bit about u. I had wondered before at what or how my life would be like if I had not known u but it doesn’t matter anymore cause none of dat is important now…what’s important is u…not the past u but the present and future u. I wanna be there to share whatever happens to u from now onwards no matter if it’s happy or sad. Be your cheerleader :) be your pillow when u need sumthing to hug on at night. Even thought u’re not beside me now, but I could feel your presences, every day when I wake up & before I go to sleep, I would read back our conversation. It reminds me dat our love is real and not just a fling. Well…Every couple is diff, situation is diff, reason is diff. I just want u to believe dat my love for u is real. U might think this is lame, but since u’ve come into my life…It has changed for the better and I could see the direction for my future…the sunlight at the end of tunnel…I'm sorry for not being able to say this verbally, I can't say good things like this verbally, I'm not really good with talking and I always stutter xD and do not think of what I should say. Don’t worry dat I’ll ever leave u, I promise I won’t leave not just cause I don’t wanna break my promise but I truly mean it. xoxo
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